Sunday, November 27, 2011

"You are always moving forward or backward, you are never standing still."

Once in a Lifetime

Once upon a time there was a girl, who loved to walk, she never ran, she never jogged, or skipped, just walked. She walked around the whole world, finding new places and meeting new faces everywhere she went. She learned new things, taught others new tricks, achieved great merits, played with the lonely, sang with the poor, fed the hungry, visited the sick, cried with those full of sorrow, rejoiced with those who left sorrow behind, fell in love, broke some hearts, had hers broken, and overall this girl was a very good person. She was wealthy with love for all, she was quenched with knowledge and her hunger was swept away with her new ideas and creative thoughts and kindly deeds. She spent her life doing not for herself, but only for others, everything she ever had, from money, to food, to wisdom, to love, was never for herself, but given to her so she could share it with others. She understood many things, but even when she didn't understand everything, she kept walking because that was all that mattered. And in the end, when she was worn and lonely, she was ready to leave her life behind. But while she was lying in bed, ready to die, everything from her life cam to her. Those she loved and helped and served came swiftly to her side to shed tears to her leaving, but she stopped them quickly and said "Don't weep because I am dying, rejoice because I had life. Don't sit here weary at my bed, but rise and go do for others what has been done for you." And they all went away and began their walking, they began to serve others and they set out for their own walks around the world. They all lived happily because of the great example she set, and they all wished that the world would follow and join their happiness too. THE END. 
 I love my cousins, we had lots of fun this Thanksgiving break. The highlight of my week, month, and maybe even year, was our ultimate dance party we had while we were babysitting.  Just imagine, an 18 year old (working the strobe lights fro his phone), a 16 year old (me, the DJ), a 13 year old, and an 11 year old plus 9 little children all 8 or younger jamming out in a small living room, singing screaming and having overall the time of our lives, I will never ever forget that. It was so much fun to see all of my little cousins moves. I regret that they had to leave and go home, I can't wait until Christmas when we are all together again.
 Well, today was the last day of break, Yep, I have to go to school again tomorrow, and I am not looking forward to it. Only two more weeks until I get to go snowboarding though, and my dance show is this week which I am excited for and there are only three insanely crazy weeks of December until Christmas break, which I am obviously excited for. This is going to be a really good winter, I can feel it, Christmas, snowboarding, cousins, dancing, partying, eating, presents, friends, snowboarding, snow, sledding, snowboarding, my 17th birthday, snowboarding, Acapella tour, snowboarding, family, snowboarding, and some more snowboarding. I am simply ecstatic for EVERYTHING!!!!!
"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge." - Thomas Carlyle
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." - Stendhal
"All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love at all times." - Julie Andrews
"All mankind love a lover." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." - Plato

You is kind, you is smart, you is important.
Keep drinkin' coffee
Stare me down across the table
While I look outside

So many things I'd say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet
And count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to 'em
But I never asked

So let me thank you for time
And try to not waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

LOVE TO ALL, Kristen Lohner 

P.S. I love you... 

Friday, November 25, 2011

To Have a Way With Words

Today, my title actually has something to do with the words posted in the passages. I was thinking about how crazy rhetoric is. Basically you can say anything you want, as long as you say it in the right way. As long as you have a way with words, and a way of using your body language, then you really can get away with almost anything. You can convince anybody of anything as long as you are smart about it and you don't give away your tactics. It's a shame that I don't have amazing rhetoric and I can't convince everybody of everything. 
 Then there is an authors way of telling a story. Some writers you have to praise because the way they write is so moving and passionate and you just feel when reading their words. You feel their caring and you feel their words molding your heart you just can't help but be amazed by their grandeur. I have decided that I only like to read when the book is worth reading, when the writer is so dedicated to their work that you can feel it through their words. Then and only then is a book really worth your time.


This quote matches my life fairly well, not necessarily because I am both sad and happy at the same time. But because I have made recent life discoveries that have changed my whole view of myself. Have you ever felt like you are so sure of yourself, and you really know who you are, and then you go to school and take classes like psychology and AP English, and then your whole life is turned around because all you can think about is that you were never really who you thought you were. You are really an entirely different person, and then there is another person that you are wanting to be, a whole new goal you want to set for yourself to become. Then you feel like there are 3 different people that you "are" but you can't choose which one you want to indefinitely be. I feel like life, especially adolescence is all about discovering yourself. I think that it is sometimes hard to find yourself when you are so lot in all of the mess and muddle that is adolescence and overall you might never really find yourself until you are 50 or 60 or 80, but I have a faith that everyone will one day find themselves and that when they do they will hopefully be satisfied. I can't wait till I have my chance.

I told you how long we've got
All the time in the world
I've got a thing for you
You've got a thing for me
I've got my mind made up
You've got my heart you know
You've got a thing for me
You've got a thing for me
I told you how long we've got
All the time in the world
I've got a thing for you
You've got a thing for me
I've got my mind made up
You've got my heart you know
You've got a thing for me
You've got a thing for me
She's gonna leave at three
That's what her friend told me
Now I can't bear to check the time
Tonight she'll take my heart home with her
But I'm not ready to let it go now
Oh, how long have we got?
I told you how long we've got
All the time in the world
I've got a thing for you
You've got a thing for me
I've got my mind made up
You've got my heart you know
You've got a thing for me
You've got a thing for me
For me, for me, for me, for me
For me, for me, for me, for me
For me, for me, for me, for me
For me, for me, for me, for me
And now it looks to me
Like she's about to leave
But as she passes
She leans close and says
My boy, you got to keep that chin up
I'm gonna come back here next week for now
Just take my telephone number
Just remember what I told you
I told you how long we've got
All the time in the world
I've got a thing for you
You've got a thing for me
I've got my mind made up
You've got my heart you know
You've got a thing for me
You've got a thing for me
I told you how long we've got
I told you, I told you
I told you how long we've got
I told you, I told you
I've got my mind made up
I told you, I told you
You've got a thing for me
You've got a thing for me

Yes I thought it perfectly okay to put all of the lyrics even though they are insanely repetitive. The End. 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

"In My PONG T-shirt"

 First and foremost, I want to make a statement that is really important. I am the luckiest person on earth because even though I am crazy, moody, insane, and sometimes annoying, I've got the more wonderful people in the world to be my friends and family. I literally have phenomenal people in the world around me all the time, everyone out there knows who they are. I got the ones that laugh with me, and at me, listen to my stories, deal with my shenanigans, teach me, help me, compliment me, share with me, work for me, smile at me, dance with me, sing with me, party with me, support me, love me for who I am, give me advice, help me with everything I could possibly need, and more. Out of the now 7 billion people on this earth and the greatest and best beings are all mine. The best to hug and hold, the best to love, the best to tell endless stories to, the best to whine and cry to, the best to wrestle, the best to have dance parties with, the best to visit DI with, the best to watch movies with, the best to just sit and talk with, the best to teach me lessons, the best to worry about me, the best for keeping secrets, the best to dance with, the best for everything. I just want to yell it out there that I am so thankful for all the wonderful people in my life, there is not anyone in the world that is luckier then me, I get all of the best, and that's all I have ever needed.
I am glad for many things, I am glad for all the people in my life, but I am also very thankful for all the material things in my life:

  • T-shirts
  • My iPhone
  • Cute Necklaces
  • Food
  • Shaved Ice, Ice Cream, Popsicles, etc... 
  • Jeans
  • Sweat Pants
  • Hoodies
  • Shoes, comfy ones
  • Music
  • Headphones
  • Beds
  • Pillows
  • Special Blankets
  • My House
  • School (I really am...)
  • TV
  • Fresh Paper and Pencils
  • Cameras
  • Lotion
  • Straighteners, and Wavers
  • etc... 

 I am also thankful for more meaningful/long-lasting things:

  1. Dance
  2. Music
  3. Singing 
  4. Nature
  5. Hiking
  6. Snow
  7. Snowboarding
  8. Seasons
  9. Words and Speak
  10. The Ability to Love
  11. The Ability to Hurt
  12. The World and Earth
  13. Life in General
  14. And Overall... Everything, this list would be way to long if I sat and thought of everything to be thankful for. There are so many things...

I almost feel completely cheesy writing all of this but in the end, it is so important to think about everything you have and remember why we have all of these things. In the end I am thankful for Thanksgiving because even though we should think about what we are thankful for everyday, lets us set aside a day every year where we especially think about our blessings. Plus, we get to gather around our families and eat food, what could be better than that. I love Thanksgiving... almost as much as I love Christmas... Well, I have no more to say.

Love, Kristen

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Lucky For Me...

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have the ability to fly? I will tell you this, if I could fly, I would never be sitting around doing nothing, I would be flying, all of the time. Sometimes I have dreams that I can fly and they are probably the best dreams I ever have. It is so exhilarating to fly above all the building and look around at other little people and cars and buildings and when I have these dreams, I wake up seriously wondering why in the world humans can't fly, it is absolutely stupid that we weren't given wings or some sort of magic to let us fly, I mean there must be some legitimately good reason why, but I still wish we could fly, I think about it all the time.

Sometimes when I am talking to people and I get nervous or embarrassed, I just ramble on and on about absolutely nothing of any importance. I also usually repeat things that I say in conversations earlier that day. But then I have to explain that background of things which just calls for more stupid rambling, then I will realize I am rambling and I will awkwardly end the train of speaking with a "Um, ya, you know?" and then the situation just gets weird. I would keep rambling and about how I always ramble, but that would be stupid.



Tuesday, November 22, 2011

"Ice collects constantly around our hearts, it's when out hearts warm and a little bit of that ice melts, that tears come." 

Crime and Punishment

 "If it's still in your mind, it's worth taking the risk." - Paulo Coelho

Remember when we are were little kids and everything was real? Santa was right around the corner on Christmas morning, the idea of the tooth fairy bringing another dollar for your tooth made the pain of pulling it out a little more bearable. Dad, or Grandpa almost caught the Easter Bunny every single Easter and you dressed up every single Halloween in a costume you had been planning for months. And most of all you knew, that someday you would ride off with your prince charming that was equal to the grander, and perfection that is held by all the princes in the disney movies. But then we all grew up and our fairy tales vanished. We all turn to things that we can trust for sure and that aren't flaky fantasies of whimsical wishes. In the end though, we realize that it is to hard to let go of that fairy tale dream entirely, its hard to forget all of your almost impossible wishes and fantasies because in the end, we all still have a small bit of hope that one day we will open our eyes and leave reality behind, and it will all come true.
 Don't we all sometimes feel like this bird, like we are helplessly falling and instead of others using every resource to pull us back up they are just staring at us hanging on in the darkness. I thought of the analogy of drowning, there is a point in our lives where we will feel like we are drowning, like we have fallen into the deep dark ocean of hard, confusing life, and we are struggling, treading water to stay a float. The people that are safe above are the people we look to for help and we wish and yell for them to throw us something useful to help us float above the water until they can eventually pull us back in to safety. This story however ideal is not always how things pan out though. Sometimes, instead of floating devices, people are throwing sticks, and stones, and other random things that are no help at all and actually make you start sinking even more. When this happens our human nature tells us to give up, to simply duck under the water to avoid the flying objects and just float under in our own darkness. To flea to our corners and cry to ourselves because we are scared that if we cry to others that the ammunition will be brought out and we will get no gain but only hurt from pleasing for others help. I think we all fell like we want to go in the corner sometimes, to not care, to not advance in the world, simply to exist in our own thoughts and misery. But, there are still people out there who will throw you a floating device instead of sticks and stones, they will pull you in to safety, give you a warm blanket and help you feel better about your worries, it is these people that we should not only seek out to help us but also the people we should constantly seek to be.

Oh boy, if you ever have to let me down, in this world.
My life surely would be upside down.
If you ever find that your piece of mind, is shattered in so many ways.
I find my feet, down on lonely street, I'll be still here waiting  of you.
Boy you got me.
Oh yeah, let me look into your deep brown eyes.
Let me share, every moment, every sweet surprise.
See that I have grown, and need mercy shown, theres a window to my heart.
If I find my feet, down on lonely street, I'll be still there waiting for you,
Boy you've got me.
- Duffy
Just Because I Haven't Written Poetry for a Long Time:

Since the beginning of the time I saw you,
I knew exactly what I was going to do,
I thought it was strange,
Then I rearranged,
and I realized that this was so much more.

There are bigger things in store,
If you just choose to explore,
Carry all the weight,
Find a later date,
and cast yourself into the sea.

In the end we will see,
It was easily meant to be,
Bask in the quiet,
Everything silent,
The End is coming near it's true.

Absolutely no thought went into that poem I just thought I would spit out some words that rhymed, think of something in life that is a struggle and apply it to that, don't look for deeper meaning because let's be honest, there really is none.

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. -- `Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' -- Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood?" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The End.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Depths of Inspiration

Been up all night, staring at you, wondering what's on your mind. I've been this way with so many before but this feels like the first time. You are the sunrise to go back to bed, and I want to make you laugh. Mess up my bed with me, kick off the covers I'm waiting. Every word you say I think I should write down... I don't wanna forget come daylight.

I like the idea of being perfectly happy all of the time. But then again we always here that there is opposition in all things and if there wasn't opposition, then what ever the things you love is, here happiness, then the thing you love wouldn't be as obviously easy to love. So if there wasn't sadness, anger, hate, misery, anxiety, or other negative emotions, happiness wouldn't be as valuable in your life. I am happy most of the time and I try to make others happy but when it comes down to it if I wasn't sad every once in a while, technically, I would never be happy.

 I really appreciate people who actually care. I think I have talked about this before but in all honesty, this subject is really important to me. What is life without caring about something. And what is the point of doing anything in life if you don't care about what you are doing. For instance, what would be the point of me just aimlessly thinking and typing on this blog if I didn't actually care about what came out. I hope that everyone that does everything they do in their life, with a lot of care. When you do care about something, and that something is ruined in some way, still care, it's okay to be sad. Never say, "I don't care," just because something doesn't work out the way you would have wanted it to. Then all your care just goes to waste. Please care, it's important. 

I am one of the most extremely lucky people on this earth. It is crazy how true this is. I get every single thing I could ever need and everything that I could ever want as well. I am so grateful for everything I have and I am even more grateful for the people that have given me these things. With Thanksgiving coming up I have really been thinking about this and I marvel at all of the things I have. I will write more about this later... 

Hold me closer one more time, 
Say that you love me in your last goodbye, 
Please forgive me for my sins, 
Yes, I swam dirty waters, 
But you pushed me in, 
I've seen your face under every sky, 
Over every border and on every line, 
You know my heart more than I do, 
We were the greatest, me and you, 
But we had time against us, 
And miles between us, 
The heavens cried, 
I know I left you speechless, 
But now the sky has cleared and it's blue, 
And I see my future in you, 
I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to love me again, 
I put my hands up, 
I'll do everything different, 

A quick list to end the day:

I love the winter.
I can't wait to go snowboarding.
Family is coming this week and I am really happy about this :)
I am so excited to eat this Thanksgiving
Only 2 days of school this week!!! Holy Yay!
I want to do something really fun this weekend.
I like people.
I still wish I could read minds.
Really badly...
Today is Sunday
Today is happy.
The End. 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

You Don't Know Me

"I know that after tonight, you don't have to look up at the stars no, no, no, no. 
I know by the end of the night, you don't have to look up at the stars. 
And I know if the love is alright, you don't have to look up at the stars no, no, no, no.  '
I know by the end of the night, you don't have to look up at the stars." - Justin Nozuka

I dislike interacting with people who are in a bad mood. Your whole day is just ruined after talking to them. I just don't understand why someone would go around and trample on peoples sunshine just to whine about there own selfish needs. I mean... will they just listen to themselves and hear what they are saying? Don't they know they sound annoying and whiny and just plain stupid. Okay... I admit it... I complain sometimes, okay... maybe a lot... so maybe I deserve it when people whine at me. Or I am just supposed to learn a lesson and not whine to others after experiencing what it feels like to be whined at. I will try to understand from now on, and hopefully stop whining myself.

"If you only do what you can do, you will never get much done." - Tom Krause

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

When peaple my grammer correct, me hate it. They be telling I that me ain't said my words in the right form. You guy's are so annoying to I and myself when you learn to how to speak my words. I feel almost rude saying this, but it's true... I be bugged by it.

There are times when I feel like my brain just won't stop thinking, especially when I am in bed at night trying to sleep, it seems like I just can't stop thinking about anything. It is not like I am particularly troubled and have a lot of serious thoughts on my mind, it's just that when I lay down, my mind goes crazy with new ideas and weird thoughts. I just can't help it, and then, just when I think that I have stopped thinking I immediately think about why my brain thinks about everything it thinks about, then I am on a whole new train of thought then I can't help but pass out and sleep because my brain has become overloaded. It's rough being a thinker sometimes.

I just don't understand people a lot of the time... If I could have a super power... I would choose mind reading, that may not seem like the obvious choice for some, but I always wonder what people are thinking so this power couldn't be more perfect for me. The End.

Wheeze. Cough. Sniffle. Hark. Cough. Cough. Wheeze. Sniffle. Cough.
Don't Ask.

Bye now.