Friday, October 11, 2013

Reblog: {This Had to Happen}

These are all from past posts that struck me as just happiness. 


Have you ever been thinking about someone and they wonder if maybe they are thinking about you at the same time. Maybe you waltzed across their mind as they hit yours. Maybe they are making wishes that involve you while you are dreaming stories about them. Maybe they are smiling at memories you've shared while you are giggling at precious moments that have past. Maybe they are thinking about you, maybe they are not. Maybe they are wondering if you are thinking about them while you are wondering if they are thinking about you. Maybe... just maybe.. its just a huge circle of thought that runs around and around and around.

{Tell me you didn't think of a specific someone when you read that and I will call you a liar.}

"This is love, she thought, isn't it? When you notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love his presence?" - Everything is Illuminated

I have this profound belief in the fact that music makes everything better. Even if it doesn't completely heal or work profound miracles, it makes any situation overall better.

Decisions are the hardest things in life, when you are forced to choose something or if the right choice is insanely evident you don't even think about the action you are acting upon. But when two choices fairly present themselves, and you are not totally informed on the rating of either choice, you are caught in a whirlwind of complication. I hate decisions, especially when they involve feelings.

This definition of love makes me cry. Read it twice. 

love

 noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
noun
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for anotherperson.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, asfor a parent, child, or friend.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person;sweetheart.
(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection,or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
verb (used with object)
to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for(another person).
to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to lovemusic.
to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight
to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
verb (used without object)
to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance shegets.

for love,
a.
out of affection or liking; for pleasure.
b.
without compensationgratuitously: He took care of thepoor for love.
for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For thelove of mercy, stop that noise.
in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: ayouth always in love.
in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (aperson, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with thegirl next door; in love with one's work.


Thursday, October 10, 2013

This Day in October


"This is what makes us girls

We all look for heaven and we put our love first
Somethin' that we'd die for, it's our curse
Don't cry about it, don't cry about it
This is what makes us girls
We don't stick together 'cause we put our love first
Don't cry about him, don't cry about him
It's all gonna happen."

- Lana 




Walking to class in the rain is just an amazing feeling. 
Sometimes I wonder why I love the rain so much. 
I think it is because it makes me feel more real, 
more human. 
The sun on the earth makes me feel like I am part of something bigger, but the rain on my face makes me feel like I am part of something pure and real. 
I just love the rain.

Today I am dressed a lot like a hippie, for the second day in a row. My favorite thing about college is that everyone you see is usually someone you don't know so it doesn't really matter what you look like everyday. That means that you can sleep in as late as possible and take the least amount of time to get ready. It really is a great arrangement. 

In the words of my Human geography Teacher: 
"Okay, that is all for today." 


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Finally, So Much Time With So Much To Do

Today is one of those days where I just need to organize everything and get on top of life before I go out of town tomorrow and I do have a lot to do, but sometimes real responsibility needs to be broken up with writing on my blog that I have taken no time to update lately, because naturally that is part of getting my life more together. And since I just got more than half of my to do list done, I am rewarding myself with this.
 Dropping off my siblings at their first day of school and saying goodbye was hard but at the same time really cool. I can't believe my little siblings are growing up so fast. I do miss them... but I have been home almost every weekend too so it hasn't been too hard to part!


Hey, I am in college now. I have been meaning to write about it because I am trying to document things but everything has been a mix of me being busy and crazy, to just plain too lazy to write.

But, I love college.

I love living in Salt Lake and living with my best friend in an actual college dorm. It really is the freshman, straight out of the house life. And it is grand. 
I love my classes, college will always be hard, and some learning can be a little lest flavorful that others but overall I love everything. I especially love my creative writing class, and I feel really grown up having class discussions about each others writing. 
I love how I found the perfect little place for my heart in a Jazz class here at the U. I love dancing and continuing dancing has been something that I have been a little worried about as I have been moving out and going to a university but I found the perfect thing for me! I also became part of a Jazz company that is so fun and a great opportunity for a freshman. 
I love my new job. I work with great people that are really friendly and I love being able to help customers and do well at my job. I also love the fact that I am earning money for myself and I am starting to become more and more independent as a person. That is something that is really important to me. 
I love the way I can randomly start a conversation with anyone from Rachel, the art major on the shuttle to class, to Bob the old man in a beaten up wheelchair on Trax that inspired me with stories about his life. I have loved meeting new people and I am always excited to meet more. 

But most of all, I love how I feel absolutely blessed all the time. It isn't the huge changes but the small ones that mean the most to me. The other day it rained when I was really sad and that immediately cheered me up. The first time I forgot my key to my dorm, one of my roommates turned the corner with her key right as I was getting frustrated at myself. The longest, hardest day at work after a long day of school and homework, and just life stress ended with a Trax ride where the cutest little baby waved and smiled at me and made me probably the happiest person on that Train. 

It really is the little things. 



On top of all of that wonderful stuff! Football has been amazing. I love football more and more with every game I go to! The Utes really do the student section right too. The energy in the stadium, even when you aren't one of the actual players is unreal! Going to football games, especially the ones where we win have been a huge highlight of my time here at the U. 


Off-Roads  By: Kristen Lohner 


From being young (only two) 
I have seen it grow from a garden. 
A small space 
of my mind, seeing the cheating. 
Seeing what happens to the aging truck 
when it rusts and stops abruptly. 

The ghosts, almost not there, start their twirling, whirling waltz abruptly, 
and dance from nine till two. 
I run out to dads old blue truck, 
while destroying my moms perfect garden. 
"I looked and she was cheating,
in the small add-on space."

I look to outer space, 
a star goes out abruptly. 
I asked aloud if, like them, it had been cheating. 
If the star had really had two, 
two in it's love, lust garden. 
I open the door to the truck. 

My mind off-roads and I break off the truck
tailgate and it flies into the dirt space. 
I uproot the fine trimmed garden. 
He found out so quickly, abruptly, 
that he was not your "one and only" but your two. 
But now you both were cheating 

me. He whispers, "I saw her cheating 
in this beat, blue truck,"
and sighed and carried on, "the two 
of those in the wrong kind of space."
"Stoping when they saw me, stopping abruptly."
Then he went in for the fight, they fought while I tried to mend the garden. 

I ponder while I garden. 
One day will I be cheating?
Will I make blood flow so abruptly?
I rake, and weed, and truck 
through my working space. 
While listening to the two. 

Gave up mending the garden, and drove off in my truck. 
They yell about the cheating, while I ponder the same (words echo in the space.)
I add speed abruptly, and race away from the two. 

{That was a poem I wrote for my creative writing class. Tune in later for my nonfiction pieces. They should be really interesting.}


I also wanted to put one of my first singing videos I have ever made on here. It is obviously really choppy and not great... plus I am not really outfitted to be filmed... but it turned out okay and I wanted to start putting that kind of stuff on here so here is:
"IGNORING YOU" 
Written and Sung (in my bedroom) by: Kristen Lohner 

video



Monday, August 5, 2013

Other Than The Obvious

I feel like one of my favorite things to just ponder on, ever since I was old enough to understand that one day I would be getting married to someone, is what MY future husband will be like. And because lately I have been feeling so old an sophisticated, getting ready for college, and taking the steps of moving out and being just that much more independent, the idea of marriage has passed my mind more and more frequently. No, I will not be getting married anytime soon but I do what to set a few things straight about what my husband NEEDS to be like. 

The first thing a lot of girls of my religious affiliation will put down as husband traits is that they 

1. Must be a member of the Church and worthy to hold the priesthood. 

and 

2. I must be married in the temple so I need a husband who is worthy and will take me there. 

and also

3. A returned missionary. 

I agree with these things and I find them a very important part of choosing a future partner for life. So yes, those are my one and two and three on the list. But, along with that ultimatum, I must add a 

3. My husband will not be perfect, think he is perfect, act like he is perfect and or above anyone else. 

Actually I think in all reality this aspect is what makes you a true member of the church and follower of Christ. My husband has just got to realize he is not above anyone but truly equal. Going with that, 

4. He has just got to love everyone and show it. 

I know that it is not a soul saving trait to be outgoing to everyone but for my husband, I will not be able to handle it if he is shy. There is of course the chance I will fall in love with someone who is more or less a hermit, so I might have to help him spread his wings. But my husband has to really show that he loves everyone around him, especially me! :) 

5. He has to understand me and my quirky ways, and just deal with it. 

Sometimes I have to just be completely random, or act a little bit attention seeking, or go roller blading really randomly, or have on and off phases of arts and crafts, cooking, or some random hobby. I am really random and I don't do too well with doing the same thing every single day or dedicating myself to one singular talent so he has to understand that. A bonus to this, though not a requirement, is that he joins in the fun and does random stuff with me. 

6. The "touchy feely" stuff that goes along with loving someone and being in a relationship has got to be on the down low. 

I do not want to be all over my husband all the time and I certainly don't want him all over me. There are actually quite a few things that girls love like: hugs from behind, holding hands and walking around everywhere, always touching in public, kissing every five seconds, boys pinching their sides(yes some girls like this they just say they don't BUT NOT ME!!)... and so on. No, just no. Not with me. I think affection is great but really, it needs to have its limits, especially when we are in public places together. 

7. Good with kids. 

I think that this gets on a lot of girls lists so its a little cliche but it is really so important. I hope that all guys out there understand that it is such a turn off for girls if you are mean to kids, or disregard them. But when guys do play with kids or even just say two words to them, you will have the girls drooling over you. So be honest about how you really treat kids but use that to your advantage. 

8. Be a lot like me. 

This kind of goes along with what I have already said but here is an explanation anyways. There is that saying that opposites attract but I really don't agree. I don't want to marry someone who is exactly like me by any means, but I really would love someone super similar. Like I said earlier, if he is like me and can join in on the fun with my randomness. Bonus points, major bonus points. 

9. He has to understand that sometimes I just need my alone time. 

Sometimes my alone times will last for a solid day, maybe while I am crafting, or organizing, or cooking. But I honestly like having time where it is just me, myself, and I. This means that I should probably marry someone who also likes to have their alone time so we can just say "Hey! It's our alone time! Don't bother each other for the next two hours unless there is an emergency!" Hahaha, sounds perfect. 

10. He has just gotta really love me. 

Since lists come in tens a lot of the time, this will be my last one for now even though I could probably go on. And this number ten is pretty important, in fact one of the most important, but also very self explanatory. 
 
If love does exist, that is what I gotta have. 

The End. 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

>boats against the current<