Thursday, January 26, 2012

Pretending So Hard Not to Easily Care

Sometimes I pretend not to remember things people tell me when they repeat them over again. 
Sometimes I like it when people use my name when they talk to me. 
Sometimes dancing full out is all you can do because half your effort just isn't enough. 
Sometimes getting texts from people I love makes my day improve by 100%. 
Sometimes I like being in charge even though it is stressful. 
Sometimes I wish that I was a more forward, frank, honest person rather than secretive and reserved. 
Sometimes the biggest difference in my life is made by complete strangers. 

"I appreciate the person who picked me up from school today with carrots, pretzels, fruit snacks, and Diet Dr Pepper for me to eat and drink, and then drove me to dance and then taught me things you can't learn in school and then congratulated me for working hard and giving things all I have got. The person that has always been there, even when all others seem to be walking away, the person who cares about what you have to say and isn't just pretending. The person that talks to you just for fun and texts you because they love you, not just because they need something from you. The person that knows when things are wrong even when I am denying them myself. The person who I consider to be my best friend, because they deserve the title. Thank you person, wherever you are." 

Through the years we had it all
Midnight whispers, the midday calls
This house of cards, it had to fall
And you ask for forgiveness
You’re asking too much
I have sheltered my heart in a place you can’t touch
Don’t believe when you tell me your love is real
Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
If you have to hurt to feel

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside
'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can't breathe
So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Turning tables
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

 There are some feeling that are impossible to write or talk about. Writing and talking seems like such great forms of expressing one's self but, in reality, there are some things you just can't say and you just can't write. I tend to be full of these feelings, and that's why I dance. That is why writing and talking will never be enough for me, I love to write out what I am thinking and I love to say all I can say when I talk to people but I need dance to tell the things that need to be told but can't be told any other way. Even if no one listens and I am dancing on my own, I still get my point across to at least myself. When people do watch however, I don't just want them to get my message and hear my story, but I want them to listen to their own stories and I want to help them be brave enough to tell. Through dance, music, a laugh, a tear, a walk, a silence, a sport, a blink, a whistle, I wish everyone luck in finding their own way to tell their feelings, their stories. I can't express in words the feeling dance gives me, I'm not a perfect dancer and I am not even close to the best. I am not extremely flexible, I and not world renowned, but I don't need that stuff, all I need is dance itself, the feeling just dancing gives me is worth all those things combined.
I might love life, and my day today, just a little bit. 

Sunday, January 22, 2012

"Humans are born with drives; We all have the drives to eat, to sleep, to connect. People want to understand and be understood. You shouldn't understand everything, not everything should make sense, or you lose that drive."
- Stephen Van Orden

Move If You Wanna

What Colors Mean to Me {In a Non-Cliche Way}

Tragedy and Beauty cover this shade. Lips trail backwards on a luxurious path of rich jewels. Red. 

Pure, overpowering, covers the walls with open spaces. Opens new windows for us to see. Blue. 

Fake pleasure. Blinding you eyes with forceful creativity, trying hard to be noticed. Yellow. 

Old, boisterous, notorious. Can't seem to find it's own place. Orange.

Frolic the path, brush against threads of knowledge in your way. The unnoticed. Green.

Comforts and heals, pretends to care. Engulfs you with a broad hug. Purple. 

Lust, youth, anxiety, drawn to the careful intoxication. Not thought of because of affiliations. Pink. 

Confusion and sickness drag you home. Base always in a pair. Brown. 

Spacious. Clear. White. 

Straight organized order, fills the space with ropes, leaves you friendless and helpful. Black.

+My Secret Place+

Most of us have a place, a state in which we can be however we want to be, whether that is ourselves or some other thing we want to be, when we are in this place we can be free to do what we wish. Some places we choose because of sentimental value in the place, or they might just be a random stump we stumble upon when ourselves tend to need a place like it. Some people don't have just one place either, they have multiple sanctuaries where they can stupor to create their own worlds. My spot has always been the same, I have never been able to try to change it, even though sometimes I wish I had a tangible spot that could lead me to be in my own solitude, my spot has always been and always will be, simply and just, my mind.
You see the great thing about having your mind as your secret place is that no matter where you are you can access it easily with your will to be in that place. I once heard a random person on the street say that if only they could go to their thinking spot then they would feel much better, I am assuming that they were far away from their thinking spot, which is altogether not so good for them. I was on vacation at the time and if I had had a tangible thinking spot then maybe I would have been wishing to be far from the place I was. However, I had my secret place with me, because, obviously, I carry my mind everywhere. so therefore, I was not regretting the fact that I was in a beautiful place without my secret place because I was in a beautiful place and I could think rationally about the beauty of it because, hey, look at that, I had my mind with me.
Seeing as this idea is really going nowhere I guess I will end with this thought: I am not saying that everyone is like that person I heard that sunny day, but, if you are like that person who depends on a location to think, or you know someone like that person, or, you have in anyway been depending on any materialistic thing to sustain your imaginative thought. Stop this terrible thing, think independently, make yourself able to access great ideas anywhere, you don't have to be in one certain place to help you think better and you don't need any lucky charms or things like that to help you think. Just think creatively everywhere.
Alright, that made no sense, THE END.

I think I am going to start using labels, maybe I will even go back a few posts to make labels for them.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Easy When Thinking About It

*Lessons are useless unless you apply them.* 

Have you ever wondered why some wishes come true even when you think you have wished them so much that there is no way that the wish would ever come true? I wonder that all the time, especially when these wishes come true and you are so happy you can't stand it. I also have wondered what would happen if you hadn't made certain decisions. There are so many things that lead to other things that it is true that every little decision can lead to a totally different road in your life. Lately I have made lots of decisions that I had loved, and they have led me to a bunch of different amazing outcomes... I am just happy, this has been a good week.

"Where did you go to, if I may ask?" said Thorin to Gandalf as they rode along.
"To look ahead," said he.
"And wheat brought you back in the nick of time?"
"Looking behind," said he.

"You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." - Peter Pan

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out." - The Notebook

" 'What would you want to marry me for anyhow?' 'So I can kiss you anytime that I want.' " - Sweet Home Alabama  

"You should end all of your sentences by saying man, man."
"Yo, or you could start every sentence by saying yo."
"Yo, Iv'e actually been doing that a lot lately and I sound retarded, Iv'e gotta stop that."
"Ya, youv'e gotta stop man."
.... silence... 
"It's really raining hard now... man."
"Yo, you just had to finish that sentence didn't you." 

Sometimes things you do are just profound. When you are nice to people and you are genie about it, it makes you so happy. My new hobby is complementing people, genuinely complementing them. And doing other things to make people happy. It gives you the best feeling in the world, especially when you could just not talk to them, going out of your way to talk to people and saying something nice, its the best. 
{Alice and Wonderland is Profound}

Alice in Wonderland, how do you get to Wonderland?
Over the hill or under land, or just behind the tree?
Alice in Wonderland, where is the path to Wonderland?
Over the hill or here or there, I wonder where. 

"Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction."

"Oh dear! Now I- now I shall never get out. Well, when- when one's lost, I- I suppose it's good advice to stay where you are, until someone finds you. But- but who'd ever think to look for me here? Good advice. If I listened earlier I wouldn't be here! But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice... but I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I'm always in. Be patient is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. And I'd love the change, should something strange begin. Well, I went along my merry way, and I never stopped to reason. I should have known there'd be a price to pay, some day. Some day. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. Will I ever learn to do the things I should?"

" 'I simply must get through!' 'Sorry, you're much too big. Simply impassible.' 'You mean impossible?' 'No impassible, nothing is impossible.' "

"How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws." 

" 'I was just wondering if you could help me find my way.' 'Well that depends on where you want to go.' 'Well, it doesn't really matter, as long as...' 'Then it really doesn't matter which way you go.' "

" 'Start at the beginning.' 'Yes, yes, and when you come to the end... Stop.' "


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Good Thought...

I'm sorry but I don't want to be an Emperor, that's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that. We all want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone.
The way of life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate;
has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.

We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in:
machinery that gives abundance has left us in want.
Our knowledge has made us cynical,
our cleverness hard and unkind.
We think too much and feel too little:
More than machinery we need humanity;
More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness.

Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me I say "Do not despair".

The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress: the hate of men will pass and dictators die and the power they took from the people, will return to the people and so long as men die [now] liberty will never perish. . .

Soldiers: don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel, who drill you, diet you, treat you as cattle, as cannon fodder.

Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate, only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers: don't fight for slavery, fight for liberty.

In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written:
"The kingdom of God is within man"
Not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men; in you, the people.

You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy let's use that power, let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfil their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.

Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!

. . .

Look up! Look up! The clouds are lifting, the sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world. A kind new world where men will rise above their hate and brutality.

The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow, into the light of hope, into the future, that glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up. Look up.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Oh, Sweet Mystery

"Don't feel bad if people remember you only when they need you. Feel privileged that you are like a candle that comes to their mind when there is darkness."

"We're all a little weird. Life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss

"Love is like two people holding a rubber band, we pull, then when one lets go, it's the one who hold on that gets hurt."

"Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted." - A. Einstein

"Never let the things you want, let you forget the things you have."

"It's not how much we do, but how much love we put into the doing. It's not how much we give, but how much love we put into the giving."

"Sometimes the strongest people in the morning, are the ones who cry themselves to sleep at night."

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Words. Fail. Me.

"This very secret you're trying to conceal, is the very same one that you're dying to reveal."

"Spalatin, there are two ways to say no to someone you believe to be more powerful than yourself. The first is to say nothing and go on merely doing what you were doing before, and pretend that you never heard. And the second is to say no in such a kind and thoughtful way it befuddles them. Naturally, if both these strategies fail, there is nothing but to relent. Or to fight: And of corse, if you decide to fight, you also have to decide to win." - From the movie "LUTHER"

There are lots of things in this world that make absolutely no sense. One of those things is the fact that we, as humans, tend to care about everything. Now, that might not sound like a bad thing especially because a lot of people, me included think it is very important to care about things, especially when those things are important. But there are some things that we don't need to care about because, frankly, they don't matter. It is when we begin to care about those things that there is a problem and that is when things don't make sense. So therefore we really need to stop caring about stupid things that don't even matter, even if they seem to. The end. Doesn't matter, let it float away, because it doesn't matter. The end. Again. 

Always listen to your heart, because even though it's on your left side; it's always right.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Don't Forget Me... I Beg

I have been dying to write, so here we go... 
 People should not assume things about people based on any of these things:

  • How their parents are. 
  • How their siblings are. 
  • How they acted in elementary school. 
  • Their looks. 
  • Their clothes. 
  • Their Facebook accounts. 
  • The first words you hear from their mouths. 
  • What other people tell you about them. 
  • Their Job. 
  • Their income. 
  • Their Car. 
Well there is more too, but the reason I am stating these things is because I am tired of people always assuming they know a person, and know how they act, and know how they should act, and know what they should be responsible for when they haven't even talked to them face to face. All of the things above are remarkable hints to find out more about people but it is just not right to completely profile a person of of these things. You will never, and I mean it when I say never, never know a person until you have talked to them face to face. It is just a fact of life. In fact, that statement should be expounded to not being able to know a person until you have learned at least 20, important things about them through personal face to face conversation. It is crazy how people base so many beliefs about people off of just what they see. They say that actions speak louder than words, which can be true... but, that is just a statement to the masses because all the masses seem to only look and observe rather than listen and understand. I believe that talking to someone is the best way to know them, though observing, Facebook stalking, instagram and pinterest following, blog reading, and more can all be extremely fun... talk to people, about everything: life, love, happiness, interests and hobbies, art, politics, peace, war, food, colors, clothes... everything, and anything, and you will be surprised by all of the amazing things you will learn from those around you. It is sometimes challenging to get past looks, and first impressions but it is important that we try to get past them and just talk to them. Be better about it, THE END. 

Starting now, no one other than my mother and father is allowed to tell me what to do, unless I have asked them to tell me or I have put myself in a situation where I must be told (a class or something like that). But other than that... I hate it when people tell me what to do, or even say things like: "Oh it might be better if you did it this way) or flat out say things like: "do this now." It's annoying. Very.

I don't really understand the whole New Year's resolutions thing. Indeed, I have made some of my own but while I was making them I was thinking why in the world we choose the New Year to be the event of our partial and attempt at reformation. Why is it that very few people make constant, frequent, easily attainable goals all throughout the year instead they make a long list of resolutions that most don't even believe they are going to complete, once every year. It just seems silly, not that I am judging because I know I am victim to this constant cycle every year as well, and I have already had goals that I might not really complete. Maybe the problem though is not the frequency our reasonability or our goals but our beliefs that we cannot attain them. I think that this year as I make my resolutions I will force myself to trust and believe in my ability to use these goals to my advantage and really try to attain them. Ya, I just came up with that, good decision I think. Yes, jolly good.
"You should be happier than you are."

"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

"Respect people who find time for you in their busy schedule. But love people who never look at their schedule when you need them."

"If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking permission."

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks to change himself."

"Wherever you are, be all there." - Jim Elliot

"I have learned that if you love life, it will always love you back."

"It is a sad fate for a man to die to known to everyone else, and unknown to himself."

"We are too young to realize that things are impossible, so we will do them anyway."
Maybe one day I will be a writer, that sounds kind of like a stressful life that I might not enjoy very much but I think it would depend on what I am writing. THE END.