Just When I Thought I Was A Wizard

"No matter how much you try to hide it, I know you are thinking about me. I know it's hard for you like it's hard for me but why don't we just except it and move on." -- Anonymous 

My Grateful List

Friends

Dance Company

Cars

Sun

Cell Phones

Fruit

Trees

Love

Passion

Dance

Secrets

Speech

Bodies

Ideas

Music

Art

Family

Writing

Balloons

Sugar

Beds

Blankets

Lips

Noses

Teeth 

Eyes

Arms

Legs

Feet

Hands

Ears 

There is obviously more but that's kinda just what I have today... 

 "Fella gets use' to a place, it's hard to go," said Casy. "Fella gets use' to a way of thinkin' it's hard to leave." 

 So I got my blood drawn today and let me just lay it out frankly, It was scary. It hurt a little and the whole time the needle was in my arm I was stressing a little bit. In the end it was fine, I was most worried about getting fait and passing out and that didn't happen so it was okay. While I was getting "interviewed" in the back room the nurse made and interesting comment to me. She said, "It's strange to me how people don't spend the time getting to know people when people are so fascinating." First of all, I love that word fascinating because it seems like a very good word to describe my feelings toward people. Second, I bonded with that nurse at that moment. I was saying it out loud before I could think it when I blurted, "I KNOW! I AGREE! People are so amazing!" My comment must have been a little loud because the room got pretty quite and she let out a little giggle like she was surprised at my enthusiastic response. Even though that conversation didn't go on much longer I felt a special connection with this nurse who I had never seen or talked to before and I probably will never see or talk to again. But I am glad she appreciates people, I kind of wish more people appreciated people.

--No more talk of darkness,
--Forget these wide-eyed fears
--I'm here, nothing can harm you
--my words will warm and calm you
--Let me be your freedom,
--let daylight dry your tears.
--I'm here with you, beside you,
--to guard you and to guide you...
--Say you love me every waking moment,
--turn my head with talk of summertime...
--Say you need me with you now and always...
--Promise me that all you say is true
--that's all I ask of you
--Let me be your shelter
--let me be your light
--You're safe, No one will find you
--your fears are far behind you...
--All I want is freedom,
--a world with no more night
--and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...
--Then say you'll share with me
--one love, one lifetime
--let me lead you from your solitude
--Say you need me with you here, beside you...
--anywhere you go, let me go too
--Christine, that's all I ask of you...

I Love You.

"I love you because you know who you are, and you know who I am and you still love me." 

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."

Just when you are worried that you are losing someone that means so much to you, you find new people. Maybe not even find but almost rediscover. You make new friends, gain new smiles, share new laughs, cry new tears, hug new hugs, and overall just love new people and it all works out. 

I love Easter, and I love my family... and I love my friends. 

Life Update: I SAW MY BROTHER CROSS THE STREET RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never screamed, laughed and cried so hard all at once in my whole life... How does it just happen to happen that the Saturday before he goes to Japan we see him cross the street. The extra minute it took to start my car made the difference in seeing him. Crossing the street right in front of me, smiling, waving, looking so happy and perfect and adorable. I love him so much and I could not be more proud of him. The best part was the heart sign he made with his hands, it was such a special moment. I loved it.

I appreciate the passion in this picture. The emotion caught in this picture is the reason I love dance. It is the perfect way to convey everything. The other day I was dancing in my room and it just kind of relieves you. There are those times where you dance because you have class or you dance because you are choreographing or something like that, and dance is really fun then. But then there are the times when you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO DANCE... and thats when it is best for you. Those are the moments I live for... and I've kind have a lot of those lately... and I am grateful for it.

=To End In Style=
I always save my favorite thoughts for last. Today my favorite thoughts are about spring, and beauty, and trees, and waterfalls. Long trails, winding paths, fences, trees, brick buildings, rocks, dirt. Have you ever thought about spider webs, their beauty and their grace. I appreciate spider webs, I like how they shine when the light from the sun hits them. I like how their designs are practically perfect. Have you ever thought about silence? How silence is awkward with some people, and perfect with someone else? How conversations can be had by only saying two words? How silent touches can change the world? Have you ever thought about hearts and how they thump when you are nervous... Have you ever thought about good nervous and bad nervous?
Sometimes I don't know how to describe some things, maybe because they are too perfect to describe. I hate trying to explain confusing things and I hate feeling confusing feelings. I hate wanting something so bad but being to nervous to just grab it and get it. I wish things were easier than they always are.

Dear World, I love you. You mean everything to me. Love, Me.

Try hard not to have regrets, they are the worst.

The End.

|Call Me When You Get This|

Have you ever desperately wanted something that you know is bad for you? I am not talking about chocolate or sweets that you want to eat but know you will regret later, I am talking about deeper things. More important things, life changing decisions that will effect the way you live forever. First you reject the idea of such a life changing decision, then you can't stop thinking about it, you think of different approaches, different outcomes, different consequences, how it will really effect you, how it will really effect others. Next, you start to reason with yourself. "What is this really going to do?""Who are my actions really going to impact?""Why is this decision so important anyway?" You question yourself, and shoot out any bad thoughts and only think of the good that will come of it. You think of all the wonderful, desirable things that will come of such a controversial choice. Then you pause and think, fine, I will do it. And that's when you start to learn.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential, is invisible to the eye."
     - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life."
     - Anonymous

"Within you I lose myself. Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again."
     - Anonymous

"Love is friendship set on fire."
     - Jeremy Taylor

{A LETTER TO THE PAST}

Mary Anderson: My newest Hero. 

Dear Mary Anderson,
       Thank you so much for giving us the great invention of windshield wipers. Even though my spring break was a little rainy I could still drive around town perfectly okay and safe because of your great contribution to society. I don't know if you have ever been properly thanked for this amazing idea of a windshield cleaner but if they have internet up in heaven I hope you are reading this because I am seriously so grateful for you. I am also grateful to anyone else up there with you who helped with the idea or advanced it along to greater functioning, so please, if you have some spare time, let them know how much they are appreciated as well. Thank you again, you are such a genius!
          Much Love,
                    Kristen Lohner