POST 100

I don't really know anything I have decided. Just when I am getting old and almost completing high school I decided that, gosh darn, I just don't really know a thing and about anything.

You know those days when you wake up late because your alarm wasn't set and you check your phone to see the time and then when you see you are going to have no time to get ready you blast out of bed. Then you go into this trance, coma type thing were you blackout for a second and almost fall over, sometimes you so fall over and plop right back into bed. When that happens your brain is yelling and screaming at you to get up and get ready so you won't be late for school. But your body is saying in a soft calm hushed voice... stay, lay a little longer... how important is school anyway? That's when your most important decisions are made... right there. This whole story is kind of how I feel life is right now. Not that I have necessarily woken up late but I have looked at my life and realized what time it is. My prime time. My time to move. Then I jumped into everything to quickly made a long list of goals, of ideas, and of things that I need to do with my life. But now I am getting dizzy, and I am falling backwards, I am slightly blacking out and trying to hold on to something that will keep me standing up from my minor set back. Then I fall... I fall back onto a bed of comfort, a zone where I know I am safe and nothing bad will happen. My head and my heart are telling me to get up and continue my life in the way I want it to be but something is keeping me back, laziness and tiredness are stopping me. So here is where now I need to make my decision. To hike through and stomp through and tread through and push through... or just stop.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date..."


"In life's winter, find your invincible summer."


“Sun is shining. Weather is sweet. Make you wanna move your dancing feet.”


“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” 


“One swallow does not make a summer,
neither does one fine day;
similarly one day or brief time of happiness 
does not make a person entirely happy.” 


It's summer. And that is all I have to say about that.   


Love. 


The End.

"My Heart Aside"

It is impossible to reverse time. To reverse decisions. To reverse pain. To reverse words. To reverse a murder. To reverse anything...
You can try to make up for it. You can try to mend it to straighten it out to forget it to let it go. But it's impossible to go back to how it was.

I have this pair of old jeans that I love. They are black. One day I found a rip in them and I literally thought I was going to cry. I have, since that time, got new jeans to replace them and I love those jeans now too, but I still have that old pair in my closet. I sewed the hole and even though I probably will never wear them again because it was a crude sewing job I can't throw them away. I can't just get them out of my closet. I mean, who has an attachment to a 10 dollar pair of jeans anyway?

"I'm past the point of no return on so many levels." - Me

Arrietty, And That's All

Me, Yon Soo, Aubrey 

 So, first of all, I captioned my pictures... wow. Second, I love friends... another big surprise because I obviously never say how glad I am I have friends. I had such a great night last night that I had to say how thankful I was for my great friends one more time. Please bear with a run down of a few of my favorite people in this world.

**AUBREY** is a prized gem, she is the perfect person to laugh with because she has probably the greatest laugh I have ever heard and it just makes you laugh more. If you ever hear a funny quote (like on a movie or something) and you want to hear it again, ask Aubrey to repeat it because she is spot on and makes the quote even funnier. She is an amazing singer and an incredible ukelele player. If I could choose five words to describe her I would say... bright, hilarious, benign, ferocious, and hipster. 

Me, Yon Soo 

#YON SOO# is asian first of all which automatically makes her amazing. She is so very stylish, I seriously love everything she wears. Yon Soo is resourceful and smart... if you are ever looking for an example on how to take notes (like for Psychology or something) she is the one to follow. I honestly don't know what I ever did without Yon Soo. As I sit here thinking, I don't exactly remember how we became the close friends we are but I am glad that we are such good friends because she literally changed my life. Yon Soo is also an amazing advise giver, she always knows the right things to say to help you work out situations and make you feel better! I love the way she writes and I love her practicality. Five words for Yon Soo would be... style, sentiment, perspicacious, embrace, and discerning. 

Ree & Tosha

~TOSHA~ is such a true friend. Besides the fact that Tosha is insanely smart she is also a good learner. Tosha plays the piano like a goddess and she can also sing very very very very very well. Tosha became my friend in German class, she is my entertainment for those class periods that just never seem to end. Tosha is also good at advice and she listens to all of my crazy stories which is hard. Tosha is that person who you meet and you just know they are going to be an amazing mom, so caring and wise that you almost even wish she was your mom. My five words for Tosha would be: buddy, harmonious, caring, leader, and super! 


REE (>.<) is kind of intimidating and scary... and least that is what he wants you to think. :) He really is a sweet amazing person when you get to know him well. I've heard a lot of people describe him as a teddy bear and even if it hurts his dignity a little to say it... he is one. He is also a romantic which is really adorable. Ree is a genius in all sorts of subjects including piano playing. I have only heard him play once but he is so amazing. Ree is also one of my German buddies and I am so happy I got to know him this year! Five words for Ree are: brilliance, softie, entertaining, confident, and well... asian. 


In the end, I am grateful for all of these people! I am so glad I met them all this year and I am incredibly glad that they are all going on to such bright futures next year and I want to publicly and slightly awkwardly wish them the best of luck!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!! 

Just When I Thought I Was A Wizard

"No matter how much you try to hide it, I know you are thinking about me. I know it's hard for you like it's hard for me but why don't we just except it and move on." -- Anonymous 

My Grateful List

Friends

Dance Company

Cars

Sun

Cell Phones

Fruit

Trees

Love

Passion

Dance

Secrets

Speech

Bodies

Ideas

Music

Art

Family

Writing

Balloons

Sugar

Beds

Blankets

Lips

Noses

Teeth 

Eyes

Arms

Legs

Feet

Hands

Ears 

There is obviously more but that's kinda just what I have today... 

 "Fella gets use' to a place, it's hard to go," said Casy. "Fella gets use' to a way of thinkin' it's hard to leave." 

 So I got my blood drawn today and let me just lay it out frankly, It was scary. It hurt a little and the whole time the needle was in my arm I was stressing a little bit. In the end it was fine, I was most worried about getting fait and passing out and that didn't happen so it was okay. While I was getting "interviewed" in the back room the nurse made and interesting comment to me. She said, "It's strange to me how people don't spend the time getting to know people when people are so fascinating." First of all, I love that word fascinating because it seems like a very good word to describe my feelings toward people. Second, I bonded with that nurse at that moment. I was saying it out loud before I could think it when I blurted, "I KNOW! I AGREE! People are so amazing!" My comment must have been a little loud because the room got pretty quite and she let out a little giggle like she was surprised at my enthusiastic response. Even though that conversation didn't go on much longer I felt a special connection with this nurse who I had never seen or talked to before and I probably will never see or talk to again. But I am glad she appreciates people, I kind of wish more people appreciated people.

--No more talk of darkness,
--Forget these wide-eyed fears
--I'm here, nothing can harm you
--my words will warm and calm you
--Let me be your freedom,
--let daylight dry your tears.
--I'm here with you, beside you,
--to guard you and to guide you...
--Say you love me every waking moment,
--turn my head with talk of summertime...
--Say you need me with you now and always...
--Promise me that all you say is true
--that's all I ask of you
--Let me be your shelter
--let me be your light
--You're safe, No one will find you
--your fears are far behind you...
--All I want is freedom,
--a world with no more night
--and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...
--Then say you'll share with me
--one love, one lifetime
--let me lead you from your solitude
--Say you need me with you here, beside you...
--anywhere you go, let me go too
--Christine, that's all I ask of you...