'Cuz My Family Won The Lottery and We Are Rolling in Money

That we don't eat until your father's at the table
We don't drink until the devil's turned to dust
Never once has any man I've met been able to love
So if I were you, I'd have a little trust
Am I an honest man and true
Have i been good to you at all
Oh I'm so tired of playing these games
We'd just be running down
The same old lines, the same old stories of
Breathless trains and, worn down glories
Houses burning, worlds that turn on their own

{I Will No Longer Start With "Sometimes"}

I wonder if my mind really controls my actions, my words, my feelings, my heart, my sounds, me movements, my decisions, and everything else. I feel like sometimes my body get on automatic pilot and just does what is does, my body thinks without my mind... if that makes any sense. You see my mind can over think everything, make a plan and try to carry it out and sometimes have great success because it takes over my body but sometimes my body thinks for itself. It takes over and controls it's movements by forgetting the over thinking and not considering the consequences. I am victim to my own body. Maybe what they say is true, you really can leave the decisions up to your heart instead of your mind. 

Then there are those times where you have a total out of body experience and pretty much just throw reason out the window and just go for it. Today for instance, I was dancing, which is when a lot of these out of body experiences occur, and I forgot there were other people in the room, I forgot that I was in an audition, I forgot that I was trying to impress people. It was almost like I had forgotten I was alive. Then all of this movement, this emotion, this feeling just kind of came out of me. Automatic Pilot. As much as I wish I could explain, I can't. To sum it up as best I can, its the feeling I get and then know that I am alive so I can create, so I can dance, so I can write, so I can love, so I can draw, so I can live, so i can be inspired, so I can share and so I can do everything I can do. That feeling is what keeps me going everyday, it's the reason I am alive. It's the only feeling I am really sure of and it is the best feeling in the world.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD GIVES ME THE RIGHT TO QUESTION MYSELF!" 

 Today was very happy and slightly sad. 

Thanks for listening.    

Search and Find My Symbolism (Disclaimer: To Be Taken Literally)

I dipped my feet slowly into the water first. I was more scared of the waters low temperature than the bright green color of the slimy film that rested atop the ponds still surface. Maybe, I thought to myself, If I just jump in quick and get it over with everything will be fine and this will be a lot less painful than I thought. I couldn't make myself do it, I couldn't just jump in, ignoring my body in protest and my mind in the bleachers cheering for defense. I needed to get it though so I took another step forward, cutting into the waters silence and leaving a little train of ripples splattering off to where I thought my prize was. I was know up to my ankles which doesn't seem like much of an advancement but for the waters brittle temperature, was quite a feat. I had to do it, I had to get my lost possession, I wanted it more than any breathing thing. Everything around me was silent and morose, so I was left to the teasing of my ever questioning mind. The darkness that stretched out wide on both my sides seemed almost divided my the cut of the moon beam that lay straight on my like a spotlight. I felt like an act in the circus as I scooted so the water was at the top of my calf but not quite to my knees. My left foot, almost automatically shifted forward to search for the drop off that Mae had told me would lie about where I was standing. Suddenly I felt it. I pulled my leg back to the comfort of it's warm partner and debated one more time if I was really worth the idea of failure. Yes it was. I needed this more than any other of my conscious needs. I needed what was thrown down in that pond so long ago and I knew it was there, just waiting for me to wrap my young hands around it and take it for new adventures. It was calling to me, pleading with me to take it up and keep it warm. In the middle of my thoughts my body took over, it had decided a sound needed to be made to interrupt the woods seemingly important silence. My body flung itself out while my brain cried out to stop. The sound was made, the silence broken, and I had dived.

DEFINE: cult, love, irony, culture, socialism, meme, internet, and hipster.

It is always a comfort to know that there are still geniuses in the world. Especially the geniuses who feed off emotion to fuel their genius. I am happy to love anything anybody creates as long as it means something... anything at all! I hope that my heart will feel the need to appreciate things that have a purpose, a meaning, a cause, a passion, so on and so forth.

I have realized lately that as a high school student, your maturity is changing evolving and becoming tangible very fast. The reason we look back at students younger than us is because we feel like we are so much older, like we have matured beyond their level. To outsiders or those seeking for a debate involving high conflict, seniors looking down on the classes below them is a prejudice and simply quite a rude thing to do because, "That was you last year!" is such a prominent statement. But just today I was looking back to just last year and thinking of things I used to do, think, participate in, and so on and I realized that I have greatly matured in my life. I have learned so many lessons in the past year that make me feel qualified to be bigger and better than classes lower than me, and I am not even a senior yet!
          My actions have changed tremendously. I no longer feel the need to bash every single assignment I get in class because I have decided its not worth the energy. My thoughts have changed in the sense that I feel like this year I have become more friendly and outgoing, and I was a little more shy and shut off last year. I also feel that through my past year of education I have reached the ability to go into a higher level of thinking about life, literature, media and more. My feelings have also matured tremendously. In fact, I think that is probably what has changed the most, I have begun to realize that flinging around my feelings is not important and that not very many people care anyway. And most importantly I feel different about the people around me. I feel like I am happy to have people, rather than be annoyed by every sound they make. In random conclusion, I am different this year. I feel mature and I feel like I have the right to be aware of that maturity. I know that I still have a very long way to go but I feel like this past year I have learned a lot, and ya... that is the end of that ramble.

I thought I would add a little something to the end of this. I got a car. It's a bug. It's red. His name is Lenny. That is all that needs to be documented here.

You Love A Lot I {two posts in a day}

You all can just wish and keep wishing that you had a sister as amazing as mine. I found all these cute old pictures that I love and I was just pondering all the things I love about my sister. She is always there for me, yes we fight but it is easy to make things right with her because she is so sweet and understanding. 

She is beautiful and she gets prettier everyday. It is amazing how time moves and changes people, I have been amazed at how fast I have grown and I am almost scared by how fast the people, especially my sister, around me grow. 

I love her, and there is not much more to say. Thanks for being amazing. 

Again. The end. 

Trashing Plagiarism

I was immediately swept away. Saying swept away is quite a cliche as is pointing out your cliches but, by any means, swept I was. Swept not this round by love or by interest itself but by mystery. This type of mystery that led me to deep interest and filled me with unspeakable love. You know that something is powerful when it has the ability to change you. When that something takes your body and soul and removes it from existence. I have spoken of passion before and I have specified my particular passion for dance, but things have changed. I no longer have just a passion for dance. I have an obsession,  an addiction, an infatuation, a fixation for dance. I am enslaved by dance and it's power. I have been completely taken over by it. I spent the best weekend of my life, hands down ever, at a dance convention.

I spent the weekend in a frenzy of hard work and extreme passion. In a place where my whole body quaked with pain until the music restarted and I began to move in time with it's notes. I could not be more happy or proud of myself after this weekend and I wish it had never ended.

There are no other words to try and explain the amazingness of what happened to me this weekend. All I can really say to sum things up is I am changed, moved, inspired, and now motivated for life.

All had been said. The End.

Why Wear Cute Clothes? We Are in Disneyland!!

 2 Years is a lot like 24 months, similar to 104 weeks, and a close to 730 days. As the number get larger you realize that 730 days reminds you of 17,520 hours... kind of like 1,051,200 minutes and/or 63,072,000 seconds. Who knows how many breathes that is? How many times a heart might beat, how many times tears will fall, smiles will be worn, rage will be shed, wishes will be cast, letters will be written, words will be said, feelings will be hurt. How many of those 63,072,000 seconds will be spent in happiness? Sadness? Anger? Fear? How many of those 1,051,200 minutes will be spent loving? Kissing? Sharing? Eating? Praying? Cleaning? Listening? How many of those 17,520 hours will be spent working? Serving? Playing? Learning? Teaching? Caring? Hoping? Missing? How many of those 730 days will be spent advancing? Changing? Traveling? Evolving? How many of those 24 months will be spent in different seasons? Moving? Growing? Pretending? Being Real? Those two years can change a lot about a person.

If I was forced to choose one picture to sum up my Disneyland experience... this would be it, hands down. 

 Michael Jackson + Dancing + Singing + Crazy Costumes + 80's + Interesting Characters + Pure amazingness
CAPTAIN EO

 Thank you God for giving me good people. I honestly don't know how to explain how profoundly grateful and lucky I am to be surrounded by the most choice individuals on this earth. Not only did I get to spend some really great time in Disneyland with girls that just let me join their group... but I am also grateful for all my amazing continuing friendships. I hope they all know how much I love them and I can't wait to continue meeting new people because it is the best thing in the world.

"Hold it in, hold it in!" 

 Just try to make me more happy then I am right now. I dare you! In fact I would make a bet on that because I know it's impossible. How did I get so happy, what did I do to deserve this happiness.

Smiling as I write this.

The End.